The Midnight Stroll [AI]

[jdoewest]

I tried writing a story with the assistance of AI in a style different from what I am used to-- I used the AI to get me started and set the tone. What do you think? Is the style "too much"?


The Midnight Stroll [AI Assisted]

The night was a velvet blanket of humid air, thick and stifling, yet alive with the whispers of centuries. The streets of the old quarter were swathed in the soft glow of gas lamps, casting long, trembling shadows on the cobblestones. A bright crescent moon hung languidly, yet the sky above, a deep and impenetrable black, seemed to press down on the city with an oppressive weight, as if the very heavens were holding their breath.

Gabriel walked beside his friend Jacob his steps smooth, determined. He was a young man of considerable wealth and undeniable beauty, with long, dark, wavy hair that caught the flicker of light, and a face that could have been carved from marble—angular, yet with a softness that suggested hidden tenderness. His eyes, deep brown and molten, seemed to drink in the night, absorbing the mysteries it held. His companion’s gaze never strayed far from him. Jacob had known him for a short time, but already, felt himself becoming entangled in his friendship and the web of his presence, drawn to him as the city itself seemed drawn to shadows and secrets.

“You seems ready to devour the night, my friend,” Jacob said.

“I have no appetite for the night, but there is something intoxicating here,” Gabriel replied as he glanced at Jacob with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Jacob, the stout, handsome athlete looked away, his blonde hair tussled. He dared himself not to get lost in his friend’s eyes, pretending he didn’t notice or understand the meaning behind that glance.

The evening had been quiet until now, a few drinks, a long, leisurely stroll as the hours passed and the night grew older, darker. As they walked, the tension in Gabriel’s posture grew palpable, a subtle shift in his movements that Jacob couldn’t quite place. Gabriel stopped suddenly, his hand involuntarily grasping toward the front seam of his trousers. His lips pressed together in a thin line.

"I need to find somewhere…" he muttered, the words almost inaudible over the distant hum of music and laughter from a nearby residence. His voice, low and velvet, seemed to vibrate in his chest, but his discomfort was unmistakable.

"What?" Jacob asked, his brow furrowing.

Gabriel’s face was flushed, but not with embarrassment. It was a raw need, a primal instinct rising within him. "I can't hold it any longer," he confessed, his gaze darting around the street as if seeking some escape from the urgent demand of his body.

Jacob’s eyes narrowed, but he did not smile. The vulnerability in Gabriel’s expression caught him off guard. The handsome gentleman who walked like a prince was suddenly just an ordinary man, desperate for relief.

They moved down the street, their pace quickening. Gabriel's steps became more hurried, his eyes scanning the edges of the street, but it was clear that there was nowhere private enough to fulfill his need. Jacob did not speak as they walked, but kept a careful distance, curious to see where his friend would lead them.

At last, he veered off the road and into an old, crumbling cemetery. Its iron gates, thick with rust, stood ajar, inviting them into its dark, forgotten world. The tombstones rose like jagged teeth against the backdrop of the gnarled trees, their stone faces weathered by time, the epitaphs hidden under layers of moss. The scent of earth and decay was sharp in the air, mingling with the faint fragrance of sweet jasmine that hung thickly in the warm night.

Gabriel said nothing, but didn't hesitate. His quick steps carried him toward a massive oak tree, its twisted branches stretching out like skeletal arms, reaching for something lost in the heavens. The tree stood near the entrance to the cemetery, ancient and full of secrets. Beneath it, the earth was soft, and Gabriel, without a word, stepped to its base, his body hunched slightly, as if trying to shield himself from the gaze of the moon or maybe the dead.

Jacob lingered at the cemetery gates, watching in silence, his eyes glinting with something unreadable. He leaned against the rusted iron, his form half-hidden in the shadows. Gabriel was unaware of his gaze, entirely consumed by the urgency of his need.

The sound of him relieving himself broke the stillness, harsh and almost unnatural in its sharpness. The rush of urine against the earth was a visceral thing, a raw testament to the primal act of existence. He breathed deeply, his face softening in a moment of release, but something else flickered in his eyes. There, in the dark, surrounded by the ghosts, Gabriel seemed to be surrendering—not just to his body's urgent, undeniable demands, but to something deeper, something elemental. He tilted his head toward the sky, his long locks hung freely, and he sighed loudly as the splashing went on and on.

Jacob did not move. He could feel the weight of the night pressing in, could hear the wind rustling through the trees as though the city itself were humming in the presence of the ritual unfolding before her.

When Gabriel finally finished, he straightened, wiping his hands on his trousers, though the moment seemed to hang in the air, suspended. He turned back to Jacob, his face unreadable now, the expression a perfect mask of his usual composure. He was still fully exposed and made a show of slowly stuffing himself back into his trousers.

“Shall we explore?” he asked, his voice soft, but with an air that suggested the night’s brief interlude had not come to an end.

Jacob did not answer right away. His eyes, still sharp, still searching, lingered on his friend. He watched the way the shadows seemed to dance around him, the way his movements were graceful even in such an ordinary, base act. He was beautiful, yes—but there was something more, something hidden in the depths of his soul that he could not yet reach.

Finally, he nodded. Without another word, he followed Gabriel hand-in-hand deeper into the cemetery, their steps echoing in the stillness, leaving behind the old oak tree and its silent guardians. The night was not yet finished, but it had changed, somehow, in the moments of bare humanity they had shared under the oak’s ancient gaze. Something new and exciting waited in the dark beyond.

[Brian]

My initial reaction on reading this was that the literary "flourishes" - lots of vague but pseudo-deep descriptions and allusions - don't quite fit with the subject we're all interested in here. By that I mean that the literary "showing off", if I can put it that way, detracts from Gabriel's desperation and relief.

Against that, I do like the style when applied to the relationship between Gabriel and Jacob. A possible but unstated love relationship certainly is well displayed by this style of writing, unlike the somewhat more basic interest around which our site revolves. And I do like romantic, or possibly romantic, scenarios.

I am curious to know exactly what input was yours and what instructions you gave to the AI to produce this.

[googlism2008]

If I read it as a generic story, it seems reasonably good. It is pretty easy to read and sets the atmosphere for what is to come.

However, Gabriel's desperation doesn't seem to stand out in this story. I suppose the reason is because it seems to spend more effort describing the environment (midnight and cemetery) than the desperation itself. In particular, just as when it felt that the story seems to be building up on the desperation, that paragraph introducing the cemetery caused this buildup to instantly evaporate.

Overall, I felt that in the context of this forum, this story is a tad "too little" rather than "too much".

[bodgyuk]

I don't think the AI engine has quite got it right this time around. As Brian says the prose is a little too flowery especially the first paragraph. Occasionally it sees as though the engine has searched the internet for phrases some in a foreign language, not quite got the contextual translation correct and inserted it into a sentence.

On the other hand it has grasped the general idea. It would be interesting to see how it might develop the hint of a relationship it ends with.

[jdoewest]

I agree with the comments. I think the AI overdid it with the flowery style. The prompts I put in were pretty simple: Write a story in gothic style about two young gentlemen walking through a city at night when one has to urgently urinate and finally relieves himself in an old cemetery.

[Brian]

I agree with the comments. I think the AI overdid it with the flowery style. The prompts I put in were pretty simple: Write a story in gothic style about two young gentlemen walking through a city at night when one has to urgently urinate and finally relieves himself in an old cemetery.

If that's all you requested, it's very interesting that the AI came up with a scenario which hints at a romantic relationship between them. Intriguing!

[Fred]

I thought it was rather good, and I could speculate about the development of their relationship. I wonder what filters the AI has to limit pornographic content.