Lads Pissing

Someone 'tweeted' this little gem a few days back. It was in response to people talking about late arrivals at airports etc.

"I was always a last minute/ time for one more drink kind of guy until once when my police protection officer (for jury duty) wet himself on the way to the airport. We still got on but the airline wasn't impressed #awkward ...

"I left the pub in North London 'just in time' and took the Piccadilly line tube. We got stuck in a tunnel for a bit and he got "caught short". We ran to the gate at the airport (obviously Heathrow) and I got on but he was initially refused - until lobbying, warrant cards shown and phone calls were made!

"He was a copper from The Met, protection duty so no uniform. He wet himself actually on the tube, poor bloke. Wearing light coloured jeans too!"

This is fantastic. So many things about this short account!

I've never thought very much about police protection officers before, but this story does make me think. You can't leave the person you're protecting for a quick pee, can you? If there's only one of you with the subject, it must be a problem. I suppose as the protection officer you'd have to require the subject to go into the gents with you. I'm guessing that difficulty would have been a major factor here?

That journey on the tube must have been pretty spectacular!

I agree. A couple of things fascinate me about the account. Firstly I would imagine the light coloured jeans suggest a younger guy rather than someone older. Thirties sort of age, maybe?

Also, imagine that exchange at the airport when they initially didn't let him board? Showing his warrant card and telephone calls being made...? Wow!

I'd guess it was probably a short-haul flight, London to Manchester sort of thing rather than an international trip. I bet the 'hand-over' at the other end was interesting, too?

Oh yes! Can you imagine those telephone calls between the airline and the Met. Office? The latter would be asking what an earth the problem was that the airline wanted to deny their officer boarding. Maybe the protection officer had to phone his superiors himself and explain what had happened?? (I'm not clear on that from the account.)

Yes, the hand-over at the other end must have been a dream too. Those light coloured jeans (agreed - that suggests a young guy) would still be soaking wet after the short flight.

Are you tempted to write a story to fill in the details by any chance, Lee?

I did think about it!

The possibilities are endless. Presumably as they had to run to the gate to get there in time, there'd have been no time for him to go to the gents to even take his pants off, let alone being able to change out of his jeans?

And after delaying the flight whilst phone calls were made to verify he was allowed to board, imagine the two of them walking onto a packed aircraft full of tutting and watching passengers?

And that conversation at the gate... "But I'm a police officer, honestly!"

I don't fully comprehend the circumstances, but I'll guess that the officer showed up at the poster's home and was to accompany him to the court in Manchester. Perhaps he was a witness? In any case, even if the officer's breakfast coffee had caught up with him, he may have assumed he could hold it until they got to the airport where there would be ample rest rooms. Except being stalled on the tube train strained his bladder beyond its limits.

Airlines definitely don't want passengers that exhibit nonsocial behaviors - like peeing their pants, nor are they happy about passengers that smell bad - like the smell of urine.

Being, perhaps, the last passengers to board the plane, they would have to march past all the seated people who would be looking right at them. I can imagine the comments that would have been exchanged.

Very interesting!

I can only put two and two together from the information in the tweets but it sounds like the two of them had been in the pub together before dashing to the airport. I wouldn't have thought the officer was meant to drink but as all he was doing was accompanying his travelling companion, what harm could be done by a quick pint?

Light coloured jeans is all I can think of!

I'll cut the officer some slack and say that he'd been drinking coffee instead of anything alcoholic, since he was theoretically on duty. And although the tweeter might have hit the men's room before they left for the airport, the officer may have figured that since it was "only" coffee, and the airport was "only" a half an hour away it would not be a problem….

It does beg the question of who would have been the more embarrassed, both when it happened on the tube train or on the flight ... the young officer or the guy he was supposed to be escorting?

Lee wrote: ↑22 Mar 2018, 10:38 It does beg the question of who would have been the more embarrassed, both when it happened on the tube train or on the flight ... the young officer or the guy he was supposed to be escorting?

Interesting question!
I think the officer himself will have been terribly embarrassed whatever. As for the guy he was escorting, that depends I think on that guy's personality. Given that he posted about the experience on Twitter, and from the tone of what he writes, my guess is that he was sympathetic but not overly embarrassed.
In short: it would have been the young officer who was a lot more embarrassed. That's my guess, anyway.