Lads Pissing

Jamester81 wrote: ↑25 Sep 2022, 19:02 Their uniforms will have to be perfect in every way. A toilet break during proceedings may disrupt the fit of their trousers etc...

That’s a brilliant observation.

Lee wrote: ↑25 Sep 2022, 20:08

Jamester81 wrote: ↑25 Sep 2022, 19:02 Their uniforms will have to be perfect in every way. A toilet break during proceedings may disrupt the fit of their trousers etc...

That’s a brilliant observation.

Lee, that is quite possible that lads were asked to model a proposed uniform pants by pouring an ounce, two ounces, three ounces, etc in the croch area
to see how a proposed uniform pants looked after getting wet.

I suspect that the color black was selected for this same very reason.

Jamester81 wrote: ↑25 Sep 2022, 19:02 Their uniforms will have to be perfect in every way. A toilet break during proceedings may disrupt the fit of their trousers etc...

There was a film clip some years ago, which I think I actually saw on television on one of those "bloopers" programs, of a parade of uniformed guards (possibly an inspection?) all carrying their weapons. The following sequence of events occurred. The senior officer walks up to one of the guards in line and says something quietly to him, then retreats. This guard then, on his own, comes smartly "to attention" with the familiar slamming down of one foot on the ground, then marches off by himself out of the line and round a corner. Round that corner but still on camera he appears to summon a couple of male civilian bystanders for help. Killing themselves laughing, the two of them then walk up to him and do up his flies for him, something he is unable to do himself because of the weapon he's carrying.

Brian wrote: ↑26 Sep 2022, 08:40

Jamester81 wrote: ↑25 Sep 2022, 19:02 Their uniforms will have to be perfect in every way. A toilet break during proceedings may disrupt the fit of their trousers etc...

There was a film clip some years ago, which I think I actually saw on television on one of those "bloopers" programs, of a parade of uniformed guards (possibly an inspection?) all carrying their weapons. The following sequence of events occurred. The senior officer walks up to one of the guards in line and says something quietly to him, then retreats. This guard then, on his own, comes smartly "to attention" with the familiar slamming down of one foot on the ground, then marches off by himself out of the line and round a corner. Round that corner but still on camera he appears to summon a couple of male civilian bystanders for help. Killing themselves laughing, the two of them then walk up to him and do up his flies for him, something he is unable to do himself because of the weapon he's carrying.

This is all a bit off topic for this forum, but that was funny to read, because only a few days ago I was looking at the police community forum, and there were a couple of similar experiences that police officers had had with guardsmen. They made me laugh anyway!

Here they are:

1. Very occasionally, the guardsmen need some minor adjustment made to their attire as they are standing there, and as they can’t do it for themselves, police officers are sometimes called on to assist. Re-tying a guardsmen’s boot lace was apparently a real pain as not only did you have to carefully do the laces up, but in order to make sure there was no excess lace dangling, you had to tuck the ends firmly down the sides of his ankle inside the boot.

There was an often told comical story of a police officer tying a guard’s boot, and then also having to adjust his facial chin strap, which had risen up too high. As the officer was standing just inches away from the guard’s face fixing the strap, a wag in the crowd shouted out “you’d better check his flies are done up while you’re at it”

To which the guardsman immediately growled out of the corner of his mouth at the police officer, “Try that mate, and this bayonet will be up your **** before you can even get your hands down there.”


2. A Pc was a street liner in The Mall at some state event when a guardsman lining the route beckoned him over by way of facial expression. That wasn’t entirely unheard of as occasionally the guardsmen needed assistance in having something done for them they couldn’t do themselves. For example, they might ask for a bootlace to be done up or something like that.

So the Pc goes over and the guardsman snaps at him, “Take my place” Then does a stamp to attention, an about-turn, and marches off.

The bemused Pc stands there for about 15 minutes, getting really concerned about neglecting his own duties, when suddenly and to his relief, he sees the guardsman marching back towards him. He arrived back at the spot, stamped to attention, shoving the Pc aside in the process. The Pc stood for a second, awaiting someone sort of explanation or acknowledgement.

The guardsman stared ahead of him without glancing at the Pc and just out of the side of his mouth, uttered, “Now **** off!”

And that was that. lol

I love those ones Lee!
It would seem that the second one, at least, may have been very much on topic.

Given the huge numbers of people, it’s likely somebody did wet them selves