Train to Victoria

[Sean]

Can't remembering if I posted this before - it was a good one!!



Found some notes made after a train trip home from a suburban station to Victoria (London) which I thought I'd share!

Got the train, fed up cos it wasn't the train I'd been hoping for, but it was really cold, so glad to get into the warmth anyway. I was planning to change at Lewisham, and get a new train from there. The seats were in sixes on one side, and fours on the other. I got on a group of six, with two lads sitting on it by the window, so I sat on the aisle seat, facing the back of the train. On the seats on my right were two other lads, on by the window, facing same way as me, and one on the aisle seat opposite, so facing towards me.

The two lads on their own had already caught my eye, as a a cute and tough couple of early twenties lads will often do. They were both in jeans (one blue, one black), and both wearing coats, as it was a really cold evening. Both drinking beer out of cans. Lucky bastards, I wasn't!

They were both chucking the beers back, and then one of them said to the other "Can we have a piss at Victoria?". So now they had my full attention, and I realised I would have to stay on the train to Victoria, rather than change to do the quickest route home.

His pal said "It'll cost 40p".

"That'll be worth it - I'll have two then" came the immediate reply!

(Why do people pay for toilets on stations? There's always a pub with free toilets!! Anyway, I didn't want to interrupt, or make things any easier for them!)

They settled back into enjoying their beers, with occasional banter back and forth, but the one who'd asked about having a piss couldn't quite get comfortable - he was changing his position constantly, jiggling his legs, and having the not so occasional grope at his crotch. Eventually he blurted out "I didn't realise how far it was. I've had four pints already!" (Nice one, I thought!! (Over 2 litres!)).

"Don't worry," his mate said, "it's less than half an hour."

"Half an hour? I'll piss myself!!"

No response from mate, so he repeated himself, more urgently - "I'll piss myself!!!".

"Go on then, piss yourself", was the unsympathetic reply.

"Piss yourself!!", he repeated. (Cor, who needs mates like that!)

Desperate guy went a bit quiet for abut, still couldn't sit still. But he didn't keep quiet for long. "How long now?", he asked.

His mate seemed a bit more understanding now, and kept him updated on how long till we arrived. Didn't stop desperate lad asking three or four more times in the last ten minutes of the journey "how long now?". His hands were buried in his crotch by now. His breathing was getting pretty laboured too. I could see we were about to arrive at Victoria, so I made sure I had everything to hand to be able to follow them off the train.

The lads got up to stand by the door before the train arrived. So did I! I was even nearer to them now, and quite excited by all the jumping up and down that was going on right in front of me.

"Where are the toilets?", asked the suffering lad. His mate explained that when the train stopped they would have to go down the platform, through the gates, and then across the station to the gents.

"Ooh - oooh!!" was the pained response, as the poor bloke had to crouch down for a few seconds before standing up again. "You'll have to get me to the toilet immediately", he panted, when the power of speech returned to him.

His mate was on his side now, as it was obvious what an emergency the situation had turned into, and just gave him a pat on the back.

A minute later the brakes started coming on, and we came (agonisingly slowly for one unfortunate lad) to a halt at Victoria Station. It was another five seconds before the doors opened (you know what it's like when every second counts!), and they were both out on the platform.

Desperate lad (still clutching his c*ck) was jumping around, obviously trying to find a place to piss on the platform, but it was full of people, as this was the final stop.

His mate grabbed him, and frogmarched him to the gate, and from there to the gents. As his poor pal was jumping up and down, and panting outside the pay gates to the gents he put enough coins on for them both to go in, and our hero ran down the stairs, followed just behind by his mate and me.

I stood next the poor lad, as he released a f**king waterfall of steaming white beer piss - I could well believe it was four pints! He was gasping and moaning all the time, and murmuring "oh god, oh god".

I had to ask him "feels better?, and he replied, "oh god yes!".

I left them alone after that. Hope you enjoyed the (true!) story!

Sean

[Brian]

Some of the details you describe are absolutely brilliant.

One thing I just want to know: when the guy in question asked his friend if they could piss at Victoria and was told it would cost 40p, you say he said he'd "have two then". Did you get the idea that it was a joke, meaning "two pisses"? Or did he mean he'd have two beers. I'm interested because if it was the first one then he didn't seem to be aware that he really shouldn't be knocking back beer in a train with no toilets. But if it was the second, then he was indeed aware of the effects of the beer but was making what turned out to be a huge miscalculation which - as is clear from your beautiful account - almost ended in disaster!!

[Sean]

He meant he'd have two pisses!!

[briefs]

Love this story.

There's something about a handsome lad stuck on public transport, not knowing when he'll get to a toilet.

I wonder how he felt when he realised there was about half an hour to wait?

And I wonder what colour boxers he was wearing?

[Sam70]

Wonderful true story. I Iove all the descriptions. How many more minutes do you think he could have held it before he soaked his pants?

[briefs]

Agree Sam, great story. He couldn't have waited much longer, from the sound of it.

I just would love to have known what colour/brand of undies he was wearing:)

I read another story on another site about a guy who'd been drinking before going on the Underground - a painful experience.

It's my ambition to try this - one day perhaps!