I Am Joe's Bladder

[Fred]

Joe's Bladder 01.10.08 1:33
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE'S BLADDER

I am Joe's Bladder.

Wake up! Wake up! I'm bursting here! Drinking all that soda just before bedtime was a dumbass stunt. Wake up! I'll let go, and then where will you be?

OK, you're awake. Put those feet on the floor. That's right. Legs, take him to the bathroom. I don't care if Joe has morning wood. Piss in the shower stall for all I care. Penis - relax! He'll play with you later. Just soften up a teeny bit. OK, now he's aiming and I can let go. Aaaahhhhhh!!!

Pretty good piss, wasn't it? Felt good, didn't it? I stretched a lot of muscle fibers to hold it for you, Joe. I could have just let go in the bed, and then you'd be in deep shit, er, piss. You should be grateful.

What's for breakfast, Stomach? Orange juice. Cold cereal with half a banana, coffee. What, a second cup? Don't overdo it buddy. You have work to do.

I don't like getting scrunched in the car, and who said everyone's supposed to wear seat belts? They're very confining. Stupid law.

Hey, Kidney Twins, slow down! We've got an hour's drive with no stops. Show a little respect.

Ah, we're at work. Joe, feel that little twinge? I'm getting full, so you really ought to go take a leak. Hey, don't clamp that muscle on me! I know I feel good when I'm kinda full, but I can be a mean bastard when I'm overfull. Oh, good, you're going into the men's room. With Ralph.

Hey Gonads! Put a lid on it! Penis, just cool it. It's too early to fool around. I don't care if Ralph is disappointed. Ah, another piss. Ralph, stop that! I'm not empty yet. Oh, well. Half a piss is better than none.

Kidney One, Kidney Two, what the hell is going on up there? Stomach sent you two cups of coffee? Now I'm stuck with them. I'm giving Joe another twinge.

Hmm. No effect. It must be that secretary with the oversized mammaries that he's talking to. I'll ramp up the volume a bit. Feel that, Joe? I thought so.

Lunch? You haven't pissed yet. Let me give you a reminder. Cut out that macho shit and go take a piss. I'm full! First it's Ralph and then it's Linda, I guess you're equal opportunity horny.

OK, a tuna sandwich isn't going to give me grief. Stomach, hang on to the iced coffee. That sucker is at least 24 ounces. No, no! Kidney Twins, there's no room at the inn, so don't process it!

Oh, shit, they never listen. Here it comes, and I'm already stretched. Joe, how's this for urgency?

Penis, stop complaining. One squeeze ain't gonna hurt you. Tell Joe to get you out so I can release. I'll give him another urge. Legs, get Joe moving to the men's room. Oh, the pressure!

Cripes, Joe, I'm bursting here! I guess I gotta get out the big gun: Major Contraction. There! Penis, I'm sorry if he bruised you a little, but the guy's got to learn. Gonads, you should appreciate the warm bath. Thighs, I hope the chafing doesn't bother you.

So we're going home early, eh? Good. With a toilet right handy I won't have to work too hard. I'll surprise him and let loose in the shower.

Geez, three beers already? I thought I was going to have a quiet evening. What's that, Cerebrum? He's thinking about full-bladder sex? Gonads, thats all your fault! Lay off on the testosterone production. Oh, boy! I'm really getting stretched.

Kidney One, are you having a contest with your brother again? I know Joe's had five beers, but the amount coming down the ureters is ridiculous. Penis, damn you for getting so hard! Even if I release, nothing's going to get through. Yes, Prostate, I know you're caught in the middle here, but if we all work together we can trigger an ejaculation. Uh! Uh! Uh!

Ah, that's over with and nothing's in the way. Blessed relief! Aahhhhhhhhhhh!

Back, Arms, it's Joe's fault that he has to clean up that puddle, so don't complain to me. And now to bed. With Gonads, Prostate and me thoroughly drained, he should sleep well. And I'll be sure to wake him up in the morning.

[bodgyuk]

Bladder control, er no, the bladder is in control

[Chikita]

That was hilarious and a nice change to have the story be told from the view of the bladder. I don't think I've ever read something like this.
Very nice