I thought this was a brilliant read.
Do written articles go here?
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Peecadilly
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Brian
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Re: Do written articles go here?
To answer your title question: articles by authors who are not ourselves go here, in "Reposted". 
Thanks for finding this one. I admire the author for his frankness in describing his problem with having to pee too often. (I bet he's had a lot of accidents in his time! The job interview one he mentions is a good one.)
Great read indeed!
Thanks for finding this one. I admire the author for his frankness in describing his problem with having to pee too often. (I bet he's had a lot of accidents in his time! The job interview one he mentions is a good one.)
Great read indeed!
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Tytn
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Re: Do written articles go here?
GQ Site:
How I Learned To Stop Peeing 20 Times a Day
Welcome back to Make It Stop, where we count down the one thing this week that must stop, and in this case that one thing is urine.
When I was a kid, my grandparents took my extended family out for a nice dinner. And before we sat down to eat, I went to go to the bathroom. I always took a piss before sitting down as a preventive measure, so that I wouldn't have to pee during the meal. But ten minutes after we sat down, I had to pee again. And again. And then I had to go again. Family members began to notice and I began to notice them noticing me. Now, kids will always get up during an endless meal with relatives because kids can't drink booze and those meals are fucking boring as a result. By the time I was on my sixth or seventh trip (I lost track), my uncle grabbed my arm and said, "Will you just sit down?" But I couldn't. I had to go.
I shouldn't piss this much. I know it's all in my mind because I've had enough doctors jam enough fingers up my butt to know that my prostate is groovy. And I have had physical therapy sessions that have "cured" my weak bladder (more on that in a moment), only for me to lapse back into bad pissing habits. It's all in my mind. Okay, some of it is in my pelvic floor, but much of it is in my mind. I am thirty-eight years old, and I still try to go weewee before the movie starts so I don't have to go during the best sex scenes. And then I will sit down, think about having to pee again, psych myself out for the first hour of the movie, think about a good time to cut out, run to the john, do my business, and then run back. I will be at a sporting event or a rock concert and worry about having to piss in the middle. This is especially true if the concert is at a club and I don't want to lose my spot in the crowd.
I have had to pee desperately before job interviews, only to have a little bit dribble down out of my khakis jussssst before I gotta go see the bossman, leaving me frantically rubbing my crotch with a paper towel to dry that shit off. I have taken a piss, zipped up, walked out of the bathroom, realized immediately that I did not quite finish the job, and then gone running back in. I have angered fellow airplane passengers by getting up once too often (strangely, I do just fine holding it in when I'm in the car). I have pissed five times before finally falling asleep, with my wife wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. The average guy is supposed to piss four to eight times a day and I usually exceed that quota by multiples. I have a problem. Years of pissing dozens of times a day have left my pelvic floor muscles weak and useless. Like any bad habit, this is getting in the way of me living life as I would like to live it.
Ten years ago, I went to a urologist and got hooked up with something called biofeedback therapy, which is physical therapy for people trying to recover bladder strength. This is usually the kind of therapy sixty-year-old ladies need after getting cancer surgery, but I required it nonetheless. I went to the therapist and she had me pull down my pants. Then she hooked up a bunch of electrodes to the outside of my butthole. Then she jammed a finger inside me and had me do kegel ercises. I was hooked up to a monitor, and the line on the monitor would spike every time I contracted. In the beginning, those spikes were hopelessly limp. I wasn't close to normal. The therapist said, by the time we were done, the spikes would be way higher, and I'd only have to pee a couple times a day, which scared me for some reason. Sounded like it would make me burst with piss.
Anyway, after a few sessions, I got the line to spike higher and higher, until my asshole was a steel wall. The therapist had me do kegels lying down, and standing up, and on a yoga ball. I had to put an elastic band around my knees and open my legs while doing a kegel at the same time, which is a real bitch.
"How long do I have to keep these ercises up?" I asked her.
"Forever."
"Oh."
I didn't like the idea of that, even if I was down to pissing just four or five times a day. So I lapsed. I stopped going to the therapy. I stopped doing ercises, and until last week or so, I was back to being an embarrassment to grown men urinating all across this land. Then, the other night, I must have gotten up four or five times before I realized that I was sick and tired of myself. So I dug up the therapist's old techniques, and have tried to abide by them since. Maybe you're a camel and pissing isn't a problem for you. But if you're a weak fella like me and you need help, here are some basic steps to improve your outlook.
**1. Monitor your fluid intake.** We are a country that encourages a lot of fluid intake: eight glasses of water a day, etc. But there are people like me who go way overboard with it. I'm drinking water all the time, and that's not necessarily a good thing. If you drink too much, you piss too much. This is obvious, but I rarely take note of just how much water I'm drinking during the day, and it often ends up being far more than is necessary.
**2. Keep a piss journal. ** Simply marking down every time you piss can be enough to get you to do it less often. Once I saw the true number of times I was going (my journal looked like a prison cell wall marked up by an inmate keeping track of the days), something in my brain flicked on and helped keep my shit in check. A journal also gives you incentive. It feels good to see the number of times you peed go down day by day.
**3. Do pelvic floor muscle ercises.** You don't need a vagina to do kegels. You can strengthen your pelvic floor simply by contracting your muscles down there, as if you're stopping the flow of urine. If you can't quite get the hang of it, here is another trick... (WARNING: this will sound terribly graphic)... try "sucking" in through your butthole, like you're trying to pick up a stick with it. I'm a white guy, so clenching my ass comes naturally to me. You gotta squeeze hard and hold those muscles in place for as long as you can, and then try to hold it longer the next time around. The easiest position to do this is lying down, with your knees up. But as you go, you can do them while standing. You can even do them at the bus stop. No one will know how strong your butthole is.
The real challenge is doing all this consistently, which is a problem when you are lazy and unmotivated and hey, peeing twenty times a day doesn't seem all THAT bad. But it is. I'm tired of spending all my free time standing in front of a stupid toilet, squirting out used beer. I'm gonna fix this, and I'm gonna stop being a slave to my own bladder.
Right after I go piss.
How I Learned To Stop Peeing 20 Times a Day
Welcome back to Make It Stop, where we count down the one thing this week that must stop, and in this case that one thing is urine.
When I was a kid, my grandparents took my extended family out for a nice dinner. And before we sat down to eat, I went to go to the bathroom. I always took a piss before sitting down as a preventive measure, so that I wouldn't have to pee during the meal. But ten minutes after we sat down, I had to pee again. And again. And then I had to go again. Family members began to notice and I began to notice them noticing me. Now, kids will always get up during an endless meal with relatives because kids can't drink booze and those meals are fucking boring as a result. By the time I was on my sixth or seventh trip (I lost track), my uncle grabbed my arm and said, "Will you just sit down?" But I couldn't. I had to go.
I shouldn't piss this much. I know it's all in my mind because I've had enough doctors jam enough fingers up my butt to know that my prostate is groovy. And I have had physical therapy sessions that have "cured" my weak bladder (more on that in a moment), only for me to lapse back into bad pissing habits. It's all in my mind. Okay, some of it is in my pelvic floor, but much of it is in my mind. I am thirty-eight years old, and I still try to go weewee before the movie starts so I don't have to go during the best sex scenes. And then I will sit down, think about having to pee again, psych myself out for the first hour of the movie, think about a good time to cut out, run to the john, do my business, and then run back. I will be at a sporting event or a rock concert and worry about having to piss in the middle. This is especially true if the concert is at a club and I don't want to lose my spot in the crowd.
I have had to pee desperately before job interviews, only to have a little bit dribble down out of my khakis jussssst before I gotta go see the bossman, leaving me frantically rubbing my crotch with a paper towel to dry that shit off. I have taken a piss, zipped up, walked out of the bathroom, realized immediately that I did not quite finish the job, and then gone running back in. I have angered fellow airplane passengers by getting up once too often (strangely, I do just fine holding it in when I'm in the car). I have pissed five times before finally falling asleep, with my wife wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. The average guy is supposed to piss four to eight times a day and I usually exceed that quota by multiples. I have a problem. Years of pissing dozens of times a day have left my pelvic floor muscles weak and useless. Like any bad habit, this is getting in the way of me living life as I would like to live it.
Ten years ago, I went to a urologist and got hooked up with something called biofeedback therapy, which is physical therapy for people trying to recover bladder strength. This is usually the kind of therapy sixty-year-old ladies need after getting cancer surgery, but I required it nonetheless. I went to the therapist and she had me pull down my pants. Then she hooked up a bunch of electrodes to the outside of my butthole. Then she jammed a finger inside me and had me do kegel ercises. I was hooked up to a monitor, and the line on the monitor would spike every time I contracted. In the beginning, those spikes were hopelessly limp. I wasn't close to normal. The therapist said, by the time we were done, the spikes would be way higher, and I'd only have to pee a couple times a day, which scared me for some reason. Sounded like it would make me burst with piss.
Anyway, after a few sessions, I got the line to spike higher and higher, until my asshole was a steel wall. The therapist had me do kegels lying down, and standing up, and on a yoga ball. I had to put an elastic band around my knees and open my legs while doing a kegel at the same time, which is a real bitch.
"How long do I have to keep these ercises up?" I asked her.
"Forever."
"Oh."
I didn't like the idea of that, even if I was down to pissing just four or five times a day. So I lapsed. I stopped going to the therapy. I stopped doing ercises, and until last week or so, I was back to being an embarrassment to grown men urinating all across this land. Then, the other night, I must have gotten up four or five times before I realized that I was sick and tired of myself. So I dug up the therapist's old techniques, and have tried to abide by them since. Maybe you're a camel and pissing isn't a problem for you. But if you're a weak fella like me and you need help, here are some basic steps to improve your outlook.
**1. Monitor your fluid intake.** We are a country that encourages a lot of fluid intake: eight glasses of water a day, etc. But there are people like me who go way overboard with it. I'm drinking water all the time, and that's not necessarily a good thing. If you drink too much, you piss too much. This is obvious, but I rarely take note of just how much water I'm drinking during the day, and it often ends up being far more than is necessary.
**2. Keep a piss journal. ** Simply marking down every time you piss can be enough to get you to do it less often. Once I saw the true number of times I was going (my journal looked like a prison cell wall marked up by an inmate keeping track of the days), something in my brain flicked on and helped keep my shit in check. A journal also gives you incentive. It feels good to see the number of times you peed go down day by day.
**3. Do pelvic floor muscle ercises.** You don't need a vagina to do kegels. You can strengthen your pelvic floor simply by contracting your muscles down there, as if you're stopping the flow of urine. If you can't quite get the hang of it, here is another trick... (WARNING: this will sound terribly graphic)... try "sucking" in through your butthole, like you're trying to pick up a stick with it. I'm a white guy, so clenching my ass comes naturally to me. You gotta squeeze hard and hold those muscles in place for as long as you can, and then try to hold it longer the next time around. The easiest position to do this is lying down, with your knees up. But as you go, you can do them while standing. You can even do them at the bus stop. No one will know how strong your butthole is.
The real challenge is doing all this consistently, which is a problem when you are lazy and unmotivated and hey, peeing twenty times a day doesn't seem all THAT bad. But it is. I'm tired of spending all my free time standing in front of a stupid toilet, squirting out used beer. I'm gonna fix this, and I'm gonna stop being a slave to my own bladder.
Right after I go piss.