Learning to do what comes naturally

[SoakdBrute]

Since I'm getting warmed up here & as a gesture of goodwill to a forum that's kept me entertained for the better part of a decade, I thought I'd tell you a little about what I've been up to lately.

I've always been the kind of guy whose ears would perk up whenever he heard another guy say to someone that he was going off to take a leak, especially if we're not so close to any toilets. I live in a major urban area with a few large parks, so "places without toilets" describes a lot of this city, although it seems like people always let each other (and themselves) have more relaxed etiquette about where to pee when they're gathered in a park. During the nicer months of the year, I can never help noticing guys in running shorts, baseball uniforms, or just plain street clothes either ducking into the foliage or just walking out of it, and I've always admired that confident quality in a man: Relieving yourself discreetly but without a whole lot of fuss about it, and not bothering to search out some facilities (which may have a line or just be straight-up closed) when we're practically built for soaking some hedges.

Now, I'm partial to a long walk in the woods myself. The woodlands in this city's parks system are the closest thing to an escape into nature that's easy to get to, and I make use of them whenever I can to get some fresh air and think things over, out on my own. The problem is, I've never been someone to pee in public while making no big deal about it. It's always blown my mind a little bit when I'll be in a group of mixed company, and another man announces his intention to piss outside. Even when I'm on my own, I'll guilt-trip myself about not planning ahead, or else not holding it when there's plenty of perfectly good facilities and more temporary port-a-potties available. (Never mind the fact that outside of spring and summer, most of the park bathrooms either close early or don't open at all.)

There was one time, several months ago in the fall, when I was going for a walk in the evening, pretty frustrated over something that was going on in my personal life. I try to do a decent job hydrating whenever I head out to the park, even when it's not hot out, since lots of people are generally dehydrated without knowing it, and any exercise dehydrates you any more. About an hour into wandering through the park, with sunset nearly finished and the lampposts along the main path turning on, I started to feel the familiar twinge, the one that says it's time to give back some of the water I drank. I kept walking, and thought idly about what to do. I was going to dinner later anyway ... except who knows how long it would take for them to seat me, and I didn't see the use in bothering a business to use their bathroom. Not when I could just take care of it here and now.

Peeing on a tree or a bush in a public park has always felt taboo to me, despite having seen and heard other guys do it several times in the past. But whether it was my nerves more generally or just impatience over the urge to go, I was starting not to care, and decided I would just find a tree off the beaten path and wait for a moment when there weren't people walking by. The tree wasn't deep in the woodlands at all, but it was off in a patch of grass that was poorly lit by the park's lamps. I figured it would give me the privacy I needed, even if I could see out at the rest of the park just fine. I won't say it was a meditative experience like others I've read, of men availing themselves of nature's urinal, but it got the job done, and if anyone saw then they didn't approach me or give me a hard time about it. And actually, after I'd zipped up and gone back to wandering through the park, I felt a little more right with the world.

I hope you got something from this essay about the time I sprayed down some tree trunk, but I guess as a city person all my life, some of this stuff doesn't come as naturally to me as others from rural or suburban areas ... I sure don't take getting a chance to piss in the woods for granted, I can definitely say that much.

[Fred]

Having spent most weekends and summers in a rural setting when I was growing up, outdoor peeing has always been part of my life, but I can understand the secret thrill of the first time you sprayed a tree trunk! It's a totally harmless type of "naughty pissing" and one that you should repeat. Come visit me sometime, as I have 50 acres of trees to water!