100% True Diary Entry - Broadband Salesmen

[Meeko]

I just found an external hard drive that had lots of diaries on it. I thought I would share this experience that happened about 8 years ago. I still think about it regularly and kick myself for not asking more questions. It’s the only time in real life that I’ve seen a grown man dancing like that.

Only edited to change names and take out their company name.

I was in the living room lighting the fire, saw a car across the road and two men getting out. Straight away the shorter one was dancing, hopping from foot to foot and I could just tell he was desperate for the toilet. So I went out the front to pretend to call my cat, and they came straight over, as they were walking down the hill Colm said "Can I use your bathroom? Sorry, it was a long drive and we couldn't find anywhere to stop" I said yes and they both came into the house. As they came in Colm said "Rory needs to use it, too" I told him to go on upstairs and gestured my hand to the right to tell him where to go. He went up the stairs two at a time.

He definitely looked relieved and was upstairs for a good few minutes.

While Colm was in the bathroom I stood with Rory at the bottom of the stairs making small talk, during that Rory asked me "Do you mind if I use your toilet as well? Sorry, I’m dying” I told him it wasn't a problem and we went in and sat down. I can't remember exactly what he said when Colm came down but he got up and went straight away anyway. I was dizzy and lightheaded it got to me so much so I was in a world of my own. I wish Rory had been the more desperate one. I'd love to see him dancing. They must have had some kind of discussion in the car about needing to find a toilet for Colm to be able to say that Rory needs to go, too. Colm was definitely absolutely busting to be dancing the way he was and to ask to use my loo before he'd even gotten through the front gate.

When they were leaving they said "Thanks for the toilet" and I said if they needed it again to knock the door because I'd be in all day. They came back to the door twice more but didn't use the loo again.

It's now 7:20pm as I type this and they told me they'd be back around 8 to complete my application. I'm hoping and praying they'll ask again. Rory is a really tall, and incredibly handsome semi-posh Englishman. He seemed like a nice person and complimented me lots of times saying I was so lovely. Little did he know the thrill he'd just given me.

I just wish the house hadn't been such a mess with having the extension done. In a couple of weeks I will be even more thrilled if someone asks to use my toilet because they'll be using the new one.

I'm sat in the bedroom, waiting for their car to appear out the front. I'll be so gutted if it's different boys and if they don't use my toilet again.

Colm just came back on his own. I'm gutted Rory wasn't with him. He told me that yesterday was his last day of training so he was on his own from now on. He looks a bit stoic but he really is a lovely man. He filled in another form and went through the whole phone call procedure. I was making small talk and he didn't seem too keen on answering. When the phone call was finished he said "Before we go on could I use your bathroom?" I said yes and he said "It's upstairs isn't it? I know I used it yesterday" and off he went.He said there was a cat in the bathroom, I apologised and asked if he'd been in with him, he said yes but not to worry about it. How I wish I'd had the video camera collar on! When he came down I asked if he got breaks and he said if he starts at 1 he'll stop about 4 for a bite to eat. He said he sometimes gets offered tea or coffee in people's houses but he can't drink that all day. If he does he would be in a lot more peoples' houses to use the bathroom.

He seemed to light up as he was leaving and he said it was “an absolute pleasure to meet me” and shook my hand again. He said he'd remember me if he was ever in the area again.

[Brian]

Nice of Rory to recognise that the colleague he was training was more desperate than he was. He might have used his authority over Colm to use the customer's toilet first and make the dancing Colm wait even longer.

[Fred]

In the past I have read accounts of Mormon missionaries bursting for a pee in residential neighborhoods when there are no public buildings or fast food places nearby. The Mormons are usually young men, and I guess that their superiors assume they can hold their bladders.

[Meeko]

In the past I have read accounts of Mormon missionaries bursting for a pee in residential neighborhoods when there are no public buildings or fast food places nearby. The Mormons are usually young men, and I guess that their superiors assume they can hold their bladders.

I remember years ago I asked the Mormons in and they said no, they’re not allowed to go in to the house when it only has females in it is what they told me

[Lee]

Were the salesmen in suits?

[Meeko]

Were the salesmen in suits?

Yes they both were. But I remember Colm’s looked a lot more casual. Rory could have been off to a wedding he was so well dressed! Rory was definitely over 6 feet tall, very slim build and dark hair. Colm a lot shorter, probably about 5ft8. Dark blonde and a more stocky build. And he was local (Irish). I still have such a clear picture of them in my head.

Colm looked so pissed off the whole time. I was really surprised when he said it was nice to meet me as he looked so grumpy.

I couldn’t smell alcohol but I think they must have had a beer, to need to pee that badly.

This has happened to me lots of times but this was definitely my favourite. There’s so much I wish I’d asked and said.