Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

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Lee
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Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by Lee »

A couple of weeks back I was invited to go and watch a football game at the new Tottenham Hotspur stadium and to watch them play Leeds United. I’ve been to quite a lot of football grounds, but that was the best by far. A brilliant stadium. But what happened on the way there was even better…

I had to meet my host inside the stadium, and I got the train to Seven Sisters station, which I found is a long walk from the stadium, at least a mile and a half. It was really busy with fans walking along the Seven Sisters Road, but only about a hundred yards or so into the walk, I heard one lad in front of me say to his mate, “I can’t believe they didn’t have any toilets”. I assume he meant the station?

His mate replied, “If they’d had any, I’d have used them too.”

I deliberately kept very close so that I could hear any more conversation. It was like a massed crowd walking along, so it was easy to remain just a few feet away, and only a minute or so later, the lad said something else that I didn’t catch, and his mate replied, “I’m pretty sure they’ve got toilets at… (somewhere I’d never heard of).

The lad replied, “That’s too far away, I won’t make it there.”

Almost immediately, they turned off the main street and headed into an open space which looked like a netball court, and as I glanced back, I could see the lad undoing his trousers, just a few yards away from the main high street.

Our walk took us around a curve in the road and we had to stop at a traffic lighted junction. I looked back and although it was dark, I could clearly see the lad standing there with a powerful silver jet arcing out in front of him. I’ve no idea where his mate went, but this lad was only a very short distance from the main street and all the crowds, but he was peeing like a racehorse. We waited ages at the lights, it seemed like a couple of minutes but was probably only half that time, and just before we were finally allowed to cross, I glanced back again and the silver torrent hadn’t abated at all, and he was still urinating as powerfully as I guess it was possible to do.

I found myself thinking, I wonder what the journey on the tube train was like for him? Imagine if there’d been a delay or a hold-up on the tube?


That wasn’t the end of the fun though!


When we eventually got to the stadium, the process for entering was the most complex I’d ever seen at a football match. You had to present your ticket outside, then queue to get through a security check, where you had to empty your pockets of metal items and go through a scanner, like at the airport, then re-gather your belongings before getting to the turnstiles, where you had to scan your ticket. In addition, random people were being called aside for Covid checks and in addition, the queue to get through the other side of the turnstile was getting longer and longer.

I finally got inside and before I went to meet my host at a pre-arranged location, I decided to nip into the gents toilet. It was obviously pretty busy and noisy, but suddenly, three or four lads rushed in and one of them was saying, “Oh God! At Last! At Last!”

His mates were all laughing, and this lad literally pushed his way through to a urinal and the next thing I could see was him almost pressed up against the urinal, with his head back and looking upwards, and just groaning and letting out lengthy gasps and sighs of relief, “Ooohhh!”. He sounded as if he was in some sort of ecstasy.

Then he said, “Fifty-five minutes I’ve been waiting for that! I was in agony!”

His mates were all at the urinals themselves by that stage and there was lots of laughing, not just from them but others in the toilets too.

I went over and washed my hands and as I was walking out, they were all just finishing at the urinals and the lad was still groaning and moaning as he finished off, swearing and letting out several huge deep breaths of relief. Someone must have made a comment and one of his mates said, “He didn’t think he was going to make it when we were outside!”


In both instances, I presume a good few pints of cold lager had been downed before getting the tube to the stadium, and the bitterly cold night air must have had quite an effect during the long walk to the stadium.

I reckon there's some real sights to be had on matchdays, if you keep your eyes and ears open.
bodgyuk
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by bodgyuk »

I wish I had been there and experienced all that. At least from your descriptions i can let my imagination run wild.
Wombat48
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by Wombat48 »

Great share- thanks Lee!! I love situations like this.. 😀
Brian
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by Brian »

Wow, I bet the desperate lads you saw weren't the only ones, too. There must have been plenty of scenes going through that complicated security check and ticket control. Wonderful account, thanks!
Sean
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by Sean »

Love it!! Those first toilets after the journey are the place to be!!!

Very jealous.

Sean
pants
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by pants »

I would love to see that....the worst thing for these poor lads is that they just don't know how long they'll have to wait for a piss:)

The icing on the cake for me would be to know what boxers they were wearing:)
ryan1990
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by ryan1990 »

pants wrote: 04 Dec 2021, 10:24 I would love to see that....the worst thing for these poor lads is that they just don't know how long they'll have to wait for a piss:)

The icing on the cake for me would be to know what boxers they were wearing:)
If they’re footy fans and play themselves there’s always a (slim) chance they wear briefs like the pros
pants
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by pants »

I'd like to think so Ryan:)

maybe not for this topic, but the brieflines those guys show, lovely!
bearshel
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by bearshel »

Lee, did you see any desperation or mainly just what they were saying?
Lee
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Re: Tottenham Hotspur v Leeds United

Post by Lee »

bearshel wrote: 04 Dec 2021, 12:55 Lee, did you see any desperation or mainly just what they were saying?
Unfortunately not. The two lads who were walking along the high street didn’t say anything other than what I described, but I was right behind them so I wouldn’t have seen any hand action or crotch-gripping. But as I said, I’d love to have been with them on that tube train when the pressure must have building rapidly! And the length of time he was peeing furiously suggests he must have been at breaking point.

As for the lads in the toilet, I was already in there and standing at the urinal when they burst in. But the way the desperate lad virtually barged his way to the urinal probably suggested that he was starting to lose the battle! I so wish I’d been behind them in the various queues and searches outside. I bet he was begging to be allowed in. He didn’t seem too shy to announce his predicament loudly and at length when he finally made it into the toilet, so I bet there were more than a few “I’m not going to make it!” and “I’m going to wet meself” comments when he was waiting outside. That’s where I imagine some serious desperation would have been witnessed.
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